[DAY 6] Understanding behavior + making requests that your kids will hear.
Today is DAY 6, and we're halfway through our retreat! It's exciting to see all the connections and sharing going on in the Facebook group.
Now that you have some basic principles and tools under your belt, I'd like you to start exploring your inner world more deeply. Today, we have TWO activities to complete.
You can't be emotionally available to nurture your child's potential unless you have learned to honor your own needs and feelings. The inner experience drives the outer expression.
STEP 6: Download and save the worksheets below about Behaviors and Requests and complete the exercises.
You're going to practice identifying your child's feelings and needs as well as your own unmet needs, so you can begin to make requests that invite connection and cooperation.
Right-click to download and save the Behaviors, Feelings, Needs Worksheet to your computer.
One reason we tend to lose our tempers or wind up relying on control or force is because our self-care is lacking.
Until you learn to properly care for yourself, possibly in ways that NO ONE else has ever done for you before, you will likely continue to interpret your child's behavior as an attack on your authority.
Are your perceptions and thinking clouded by your unmet needs?
If so, in an attempt to meet those unmet needs, you may demand that your kids do all the changing.
This is when we say things like, "You're driving me nuts," or "You're not making me happy with this behavior." And we do it from an uncompromising position of force or locked into logic without having secured an emotional connection.
You want to learn to ask for what you want in a way that authentically shares your needs without making it the other person's fault or responsibility to meet those needs.
Willing cooperation comes when we invite kids to share and contribute rather than begging, pleading, nagging, or demanding.
Right-click to download and save the Needs - Requests Worksheet to your computer.
Kids need to be coached through their emotional states and know that we are not afraid of their feelings, but we are there to help them process them.
Take some time to complete these exercises and discover what's really driving your family's behavior choices.
If you get stuck, join the conversation in our Facebook group and listen to others share their stories.
See you tomorrow for another expert interview!