[DAY 2] Why do kids act like this? Let's reframe the way we see behavior.

{% if subscriber.first_name != blank %}
Hi {{ subscriber.first_name }},
{% else %}
Hey there,
{% endif %}


Welcome to DAY 2!


Did you get a chance to set a few goals for yourself?


You'll definitely want to do that before you continue. It's important to get specific about what changes you want to make.


By far, one of the most difficult aspects of letting go of control/punishment is shifting our mindset.



If you're coming from a punitive background or were raised in the traditional sense of "do as I say," your immediate reaction to negative behavior may be to defend yourself against it AND to STOP it.


Behavior is a communication.
I want to teach you how to listen to it.


Your child's behavior - even the negative behavior - represents core needs and emotions. It also gives you key information about your child's level of skill and feelings of connection.


Behavior always sends a message. If we stop the message, we lose the teachable moment.


STEP 2:
Practice REFRAMING your child's behavior without blame, evaluation or judgment.


Use the examples in the worksheet below to help you re-write what you would typically say to your child into nonjudgmental observations.




Right-click to download and save this Reframing Behavior Worksheet to your computer.










If you view your child as "doing things to make you mad, cause trouble, get his/her way" etc. then, it's going to be more challenging for you to take a compassionate view.


If you believe your child is trying to take advantage of you, rather than being at a developmental disadvantage, the language of conscious communication will remain out of reach.


Changing the way you speak
about conflict will help you access your empathy and reduce the likelihood that you'll get triggered by age-typical behaviors.


So, try the exercise, and then visit our Facebook Group thread on "reframing behaviors" and share your examples, or read about other people's ideas.


Tomorrow, I'll share our first expert interview which will go more deeply into this topic and offer new tools for you to help your kids.


Have a great day and I'll see you tomorrow for DAY 3!


Talk soon,
Lori