As you transition to a less punitive view of parenting, it may be helpful to post the following parenting tools and reminders around the house, on the refrigerator or wherever you are likely to see them everyday.
The first question most parents ask after learning about Conscious Parenting is - "Okay I get it, but what do I say now?"
There is a natural hesitancy to try any new technique, especially any action that may be judged negatively by others or perceived to be coddling or indulgent.
Choosing a new set of parenting tools such as respectful communication, cooperative problem-solving and incorporating sensory tools for stress relief are at the crux of shifting your beliefs about children and parenting.
Our emotions, like our needs, guide the choices we make and how we process and perceive events. Our emotions do not have to control us, but if we want to learn to regulate them, we must become conscious and aware of our emotional states.
Questions to ask yourself before punishing your kids.
Is it helpful, is it kind, is it necessary?
The TEACH tool gives you an active five-step process to follow when behaviors are clashing with needs and feelings.
The Language Model will help you, and your child, develop emotional literacy by show you words that work. You will be able to name emotions and use compassionate listening to move through conflict and back to a state of calm and emotional regulation.
Being emotionally aware of your habits of responding, interacting and relating to your children has a profound impact on the way the brain wires up. Are your wiring your child for potential or survival. Take this quiz from John Gottman's book, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, to measure your level of self-awareness.
The way to know if you are truly acting as your child's emotional partner, and in alignment with your authentic parenting style is to check in and see how you feel after resolving a conflict with your child.
What do you think? I love hearing from you, so leave me a comment below. Share your stories, post your challenges and if you benefited from this article, consider sharing it with a friend!