Parenting Styles

Parenting styles vary widely depending on several factors: socio-economic levels, cultural aspects, family dynamics, temperament and even by gender.

But one thing has remained unchanged - dominant, control-based parenting techniques of the past have served neither parent nor child and have in fact caused much damage to the emotional well-being of millions of families.

In The Heart of Parenting, John Gottman Ph.D, identifies and names four distinct parenting styles.

Four Styles of Parenting

• Dismissing Parent
• Disapproving Parent
• Permissive Parent
• Conscious Parent (Emotional Coach)

Even the seemingly harmless and effective methods like praise and positive reinforcement can have damaging consequences as well.

Whether you are utilizing authoritarian parenting techniques and punishments or gentler, more "positive" methods aimed at today's consciously hip parent, one thing remains constant - behavior modification techniques don't better our parenting skills or benefit our relationship with our children for one simple reason:

They don't teach.

Finding your authentic parenting style means you are willing -

• to commit to becoming a conscious parent.
• to recognize when you are enforcing limits for the sake of convenience and when you are enforcing limits in order to teach and protect.
• to be your child's emotional coach - willing to compromise and connect.
• to look at your children through a new lens and know that your experiences will change when your perspective does.

Don't rely on parenting advice you pick up here and there or think that you have failed as a parent because what worked for your friend's child did not work for yours. No two families will have the same parenting style because we all have different needs and sensitivities.

Research. Read. Learn.

Choose to be an informed parent. Adapt your parenting strategy to suit each child if you have more than one. They are all unique with different sensitivities.

Authoritative parenting styles or beliefs in the OPP do not endear your children to you, they create fear and self-loathing.

Positive Parenting Tips

We don't have to be perfect, but we can always be better!