values the child's negative emotions as an opportunity for intimacy
can tolerate spending time with a sad, angry or fearful child; does not become impatient with the emotion
is aware of and values his or her own emotions
sees the world of negative emotions as an important arena for parenting
is sensitive to the child's emotional states, even when they are subtle
is not confused or anxious about the child's emotional expression and knows what needs to be done
respects the child's emotions
does not poke fun at or try to make light of the child's negative feelings
does not say how the child should feel
does not feel that he or she needs to fix every problem for the child
uses emotional moments as a time to
- listen to the child
- empathize with soothing words and affection
- help the child label the emotion he or she is feeling
- offer guidance on regulating emotions
- set limits and teach acceptable expression of emotions
- teach problem-solving skills
EFFECTS
Children learn to trust their feelings, regulate their own emotions and solve problems. They have high self-esteem, learn well and get along with others. They share a mutual respect with their parent and that emotional bond fosters cooperation within the family.
