Emotional Abuse Signs

Emotional abuse signs can vary by age and even gender and they can manifest from one extreme to the other. For example, an emotionally mistreated child may be overly aggressive or extremely withdrawn or both depending on the circumstances.

The signs of emotional abuse can be hard to detect and even harder to link, as a direct cause, to verbal and psychological maltreatment.

The emotional abuse of children is still rising and though alone it only compromises 7% of all reported cases, it is the one abuse that is present with all other types of abuse such as physical and sexual, effectively making it present it 100% of all cases.

Emotional abuse can be present in schools (bullying), communities, workplaces and in the worst case scenario - the home.

Emotional abuse warning signs in children can manifest in a variety of ways. The following are examples of the different types of emotional abuse signs.

Emotional Indicators:

• low self-confidence/poor self-image
• unable in trust/fearful
• dependent/withdrawn
• anxious/depressed
• too compliant/hyper-vigilant
• detached/difficulty forming relationships
• little enthusiasm/low perseverance
• delayed emotionally, socially and/or academically
• unusual fears
• lack of empathy
• failure to thrive in infancy
• feelings of shame and guilt

Observable Indicators:

• child rocks, sucks, bites self
• crying
• avoidance of eye contact
• inappropriately aggressive, destructive or cruel to others
• suffers from sleep, speech disorders
• restricts play activities or experiences
• demonstrates compulsions, obsessions, phobias, hysterical outbursts
• alcohol or drug abuse
• negative statements about self
• shy, passive, compliant
• lags in physical, mental and emotional development
• self destructive behavior
• highly aggressive
• cruel to others
• overly demanding
• bed-wetting

Due to factors such as societal differences in the way that we raise boys and girls, many times the warning signs of emotional abuse will be gender specific.

Boys may tend toward more:

• aggression
• temper tantrums
• fights with peers/siblings
• bullying tactics
• disobedience
• frustration
• lying and cheating
• destructive behaviors
• impulsive behaviors
• argumentative
• tease excessively
• worry excessively
• withdrawn

Girls may tend toward more:

• withdrawn
• passive
• approval-seeking
• compliant
• easily frustrated
• infinitely patient
• clingy with adults
• low self confidence
• overly dependent
• stubborn
• tease excessively
• worry excessively
• somatic complaints

Family, Caregiver or Parental Indicators

• blames or puts down child
• is cold and rejecting
• indifferent to child's problems or welfare
• withholds affection
• shows preferential treatment when there is more than one child in the family

Common characteristics of the abusing adult include blaming or belittling the child in public, describing the child negatively, always assuming the child is at fault, having unrealistic expectations of the child, openly admitting to disliking or hating the child, threatening the child with severe punishment, withdrawing comfort as a means of discipline, being emotionally cold and un-supportive, suffering from alcohol and drug abuse, and possessing a violent nature.

Emotional abuse signs can be difficult to discern. Verbal abuse and neglect often take place under a veil of secrecy. A superficial, happy, well-adjusted front may be put on by the family who is suffering behind closed doors. It is important to create safe channels for parents to get help with their parenting, stress management or whatever else may be inhibiting a successful relationship with their children or partner.

If you need someone to talk to or would like more information on conscious parenting alternatives please contact me for a free phone consultation.