A Child Abuse Story
Witness to Unconscious Parenting

I witnessed the following child abuse story while working at an event for local families, in Los Angeles.

A little girl, maybe three or four years old, waited patiently in line with her mother to have her face painted. When it was finally her turn, the little girl became terribly frightened and decided that she most definitely did not want to have her face-painted.

Visibly disappointed, her mother coaxed and pleaded with her but the little girl was adamant - no paint! Mom finally relented and they both stepped out of line. About fifteen minutes later they returned. The little girl hesitantly approached my chair. "You're back," I asked? "Did you change your mind?" She nodded shyly.

Then her mother turned to me and whispered, "I told her I wouldn't be her friend anymore if she didn't get her face-painted.”

I was dumbfounded. She actually giggled when she told me, as if it was a "how to discipline children" joke.

My heart just sank.

Every cell in my body wept for this little girl - and her mother, who was so young, so naive - laughing playfully, unconscious of the damage she had just caused. To manipulate her daughter into compliance by threatening to take away her love, trust and support is an act only the ignorant could unload.

It may seem like an extreme example to illustrate a point but I've got a hundred more heart-wrenching discipline stories handy. Or, just hang out at any local playground and you can witness your own child abuse story. Children of all ages are routinely coerced, threatened, yelled at, ignored, bullied and [often unconsciously] verbally abused.

Most importantly, what I realized that day is that this young woman, who was innately so full of love and joy, had no idea what the cause of her actions would be - the damage done to her daughter's emotional well-being, the gouge in her self-esteem and the break in the bond between them. She had zero awareness of the scar that had just been created.

It was that day that I vowed to make a difference in the lives of parents and children by raising the global awareness of emotional abuse and spreading the message of nonviolent communication and conscious discipline.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy the site.

Lori Petro
BSEd., Beyond Consequences Certified Parent Educator